


Tasty

by henley_sarah



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Anxiety Disorder, Cannibalism, Ethical Dilemmas, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I Don't Even Know, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, It's Tokyo Ghoul After All, Moral Ambiguity, Moral Dilemmas, Morality, My First AO3 Post, My First Fanfic, My First Work in This Fandom, Philosophy, Romance, Shameless Smut, Tattoos, Timeline What Timeline, Uta Being an Asshole, Vines
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 04:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14128161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/henley_sarah/pseuds/henley_sarah
Summary: “Ghouls are intelligent, like humans. They have free will just as humans do. I think some choose to be violent, and some are peaceful. Just like humans. We shouldn’t hate them because of what their diet happens to be. I’m sure there are a few who don’t like to eat people, but then again, what other choice is there? Sure, I guess as a human being myself, I don’t like the idea of being food, but it is the circle of life anyhow. Not my fault I’m not at the top of the food chain. It’s not ghouls’ fault that they are.”I then looked over at Uta and he just stared at me. “But I’m just a human. I know next to nothing about ghouls, honestly. Maybe they are all hellbent on the destruction of mankind.” I shrugged, and he burst out laughing before putting his fingers over his smile to rein himself back in. That made me smile, that I got a genuine laugh out of him.





	1. Can't Wait To Tell This To My Grandchildren

As a mainly pessimistic person that I call being “realistic,” I think constantly about how I will die. Would I die in an accident? Will I be murdered? At this point, who knew?

“You think too much.” My best friend’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts as we sat together in a new coffee place she had come across one day. “What are you thinking about now?”

“Death,” I replied.

“You’re so emo, Eri.” She giggled into her cup of coffee.

“Thanks, Sayori.” I hummed, rolling my eyes. “Nothing compared to me when I was twelve, though.”

“We don’t talk about sixth grade.” She shook her head, making me grin. “Dark times.”

I simply nodded in agreement and looked around. The wait staff here seemed young, from the two I spotted. A girl, maybe a few years younger than us, and a boy with an eyepatch, maybe a little older than her. Maybe? It was hard to tell, really.

“Whoa.” Sayori breathed, looking at the door, and my eyes followed her gaze and saw the most punk looking human I’ve ever come across in real life, and I was practically surrounded by them. Shit, I was one of them.

His hair was shaved off on one side, and he seemed to be covered in tattoos, literally from head to toe. I was drawn to the tattoo on his neck, recognizing the Greek symbols. The three years of Latin I took in high school failed me then, though. He had a lip ring, five ear piercings (from what I could count), and some type of piercing by his left eye. I grew curious about how that worked.

I couldn’t help myself but study the tattoos on his arms and peek out from under his shirt. He had sunglasses on, and I could only imagine what color his eyes were. Brown? I think that was a bit too boring for someone as unique as him. Maybe blue or green? Maybe some pretty honey or hazel color? I think maybe a very dark brown color, like almost black, suits him the best in my imagination.

“Dude. You’re staring. Stop.” Sayori hissed at me.

“He’s pretty. I kind of don't want to stop.” I hummed and she turned my face away, and I blinked my eyes as she came into focus.

“Before he spots you, Jesus Christ.” She huffed, and I eyed the piercing on the side of her lip. I pursed my lips and looked back the guy, now gazing around the shop. Since his eyes were hidden, I couldn’t tell where he was looking. What if he was looking at me? Oh, Jesus fuck.

“You aren’t going to talk to him, are you?” Sayori groaned.

“I’m still debating.” I hummed, sipping my coffee. I then decided, ‘fuck it,’ and got up, walking over, and he watched, and I smiled.

“Hi, sorry to disturb you, but I just wanted to say, those tattoos of yours are amazing. Who does them?” I asked, as politely as I could.

He looked a little surprised, then his mouth stretched into a smile. “I did quite a few of them myself, actually.” He said in a really soft tone.

“Yeah? Damn, you’re talented.” I nodded, looking at the detailed and bold piece on his forearm. Seeing me, he pushed up his sleeve and held his arm in front of me.

“This isn’t me being too weird, is it?” I asked, raising a brow, not wanting to make this stranger uncomfortable with the fact that I was fawning over his ink.

“Nah. It’s rare I meet people with an appreciation. Do you have any?” He asked and I nodded.

“Yeah, three. Super detailed, all three of them. Guess I’m just a fan of detail.” I smiled, giving him his arm back.

“What do you have?” He asked, leaning on the stand by the door.

“I have an astronaut mowing the moon on my left elbow. I have a wendigo on my right shoulder. I have a dragon on my right thigh. You?” I asked.

“Ah, mostly designs, like my arm. But I do have a sun on my chest.” He tapped over the neckline of his shirt. “And this neck piece.”

“It’s Latin, right?” I asked and he nodded. “I took Latin for three years in high school. I still couldn’t read it, though.” I shrugged.

“I can neither live with you nor without you.” He said and I nodded.

“I thought I recognized ‘tu’ in there.” I hummed and saw him tilt his head up to look past my shoulder.

“Your friend keeps looking over to check on you. I should let you get back to her.” He said and I nodded. “But first, let me ask you, do you want any more tattoos?”

“Are… are you offering to ink me?” I asked, brows raised.

“Guess I am.” He shrugged. “I won’t charge as much as shops, and since we both love detail so much… just seems like it fits, doesn’t it?”

I bit my lip and thought. “Alright. Give me your number, then.” I said and he grabbed a business card from the coffee shop and a pen, taking the cap off with his teeth. Damn, that was actually kind of attractive.

“I should probably also ask your name, too, huh?” I chuckled, realizing I didn’t know it.

“I wrote it down.” He said, handing me the card, and I read the name scrawled under the phone number.

“Uta?” I hummed and he gave a smile. “Nice to meet you, I’m Eri.”

“Nice to meet you, Eri. Give me a call whenever, and we can meet and discuss pieces for you.” He said and I smiled and nodded.

“Sounds good. See ya.” I said and he nodded and I walked back to my table, putting the card in my bag, and Sayori stared at me in awe.

“I have never realized how much game you actually have, Eri.” She shook her head in astonishment.


	2. Well, That's Permanent

I had called up Uta a few days later when I had my hands on a couple hundred extra dollars and he gave me an address to go to. It was a place called HySy ArtMask Studio and had a bunch of cool, creepy looking masks.

So this is what he did for a living? He made masks. Shit, even his job was unique.

“Uta?” I called when no one appeared after I had been in here about thirty seconds. I heard footsteps from the back, and Uta appeared, dressed in a tank top and harem pants, and I got a wide view of his ink covering his arms.

“Eri. Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in.” He hummed. “What have you got for me?”

I dug into my bag and pulled out a printed picture of a birdcage, some notes along the blank space. “Of course, make it your own. Duh. Just some birdcage, two birds flying away, those Roman numerals incorporated somehow.” I said and he nodded.

“There’s a meaning to this?” He said and went to his desk, where I saw a gun was set up.

“Yep.” I nodded, looking around at the masks, drawn to the grinning ones.

“Do I get to know?” He asked and I looked back. “It helps me get a feel for the art. I do this with my mask customers, too.”

“The date is my dad’s death date,” I said.

“Oh. And are the birds representing your dad, and how he’s free?” He asked.

I gave a chuckle. “No. The birds are my mom and I. The cage is my dad.” I said and he gave a little hum in understanding. It was quiet as I heard him sketching and erasing, and soon inking it onto transfer paper. It only took about forty or so minutes, and I went over and smiled at the inking.

“You like it?” He hummed.

“Yep. Can’t wait to see it inked.” I grinned.

“Alright. Where is this going?” He asked.

“You’re not going to be weird about me taking off my shirt, are you?” I asked.

“Not unless you are.” He said and I began to tie my hair up in a bun.

“Oh, good. Right shoulder blade.” I said and pulled my shirt up and over me.

He transferred the ink to me, and I sat backward in a chair he had set up by the gun stand. He rolled his chair over to my right side so I could see him out of my peripherals and positioned everything.

“Ready?” He said and the gun buzzed.

“Yep.” I nodded.

“Tell me if it hurts too much or if you need a break.” He said and started inking.

“Thanks.” I smiled, feeling a little comforted at that.

It was comfortably quiet again, there is no sound aside from our breathing and the buzzing of the tattoo gun. My arm and back were going numb little by little, and I thanked the Gods for endorphins.

“I’m surprised you didn’t freak out at my eyes.” He said and I peeked back at him, looking at the red irises and black sclera.

“Looks cool,” I commented. Looks hot, was what I thought.

“Thanks.” Uta gave a small smile. “I was honestly really surprised you came up to admire my tattoos. I’m more used to be stared at than admired.” He confessed.

“Yeah, me too. And, not to be rude, but I don’t even compare to you.” I smirked a little and heard him chuckle.

“Only a little. We have nearly the same haircut, and some ink.” He hummed.

“Yeah, but that’s about it.” I tried not to shrug. “I just don’t have the guts to look like you, and I know better than anyone that this shit takes guts.” I sighed.

“If you could look exactly how you wanted, how would you look?” He asked, and I peeked back again. “I’m serious. If there was no one to judge you, no one to stare. You could look however you wanted.”

“Well, I’d probably wear a lot more makeup than I already do, and I wear quite a bit. I’d have my hair be an even brighter green, like almost neon. I’d have so many ear piercings. I’d wear six-inch heels everywhere.” I said with a little giggle. “I’d wear lingerie just because I could. Shit, I’d probably wear lingerie showing in public, like some racy bra with a jacket or something, no shirt.” I said and he looked a little amused.

“You’re laughing at me,” I frowned.

“I’m not. It’s just… what’s stopping you?” He asked.

“Well, first of all, that type of shit costs money. Like a lot of money that I don’t have.” I sighed. “Also, again, I just don’t have the guts. I don’t have the confidence for that. Especially the lingerie thing.” I hummed, leaning my chin on the headrest of the chair.

“Well, we’ll just have to work up your confidence then.” He hummed. “I mean, you’ve got some guts. You’re shirtless in my shop right now.”

“Yeah, well, I’m trusting you,” I said.

“Maybe you shouldn’t,” Uta said and I looked back at him.

“The fuck’s that supposed to mean?” My eyebrow arched.

“Eri, we’ve only met once before, and here you are deciding to trust me with inking something permanent into your skin. I don’t even have a tattooing license.” He said and I pressed my lips tight together. “Yeah, you’ve got some guts.”

I huffed, realizing he was right, and turned back around, letting him work. “Tell you what. When I get some free time, I’ll call you, and we’ll go out and work on your confidence a bit.”

That took me by surprise. “Are you asking me out?”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“Well, you’re already shirtless in front of me. Can’t say I hate the sight. So, you want to?” Uta asked, setting his gun down and wiping away some excess ink and blood, then got a paper towel and saran wrap.

“Yeah, I do,” I said, feeling my cheeks warm at the thought of going out with him. “Where would we go?” I asked.

“How about Anteiku for a starter? Then we can work up to more public places.” He gave me a smile and helped me up after covering my fresh ink. He even helped me put my shirt back on.

“Alright. But one question, why?” I asked and he tilted his head. “I don’t mean why would you go on a date with me, I mean ‘why try to help me gain guts?’”

“Because, honestly, the version of you that you described to me sounded pretty hot.” He nodded with a little smirk that had me hooked.


	3. They'll Try To Tell You He's Not Real, But I've Seen Him

A few days passed before Uta called. We soon had set up a time to meet at Anteiku, and I was now sitting at a table by myself, a cup of coffee warming my hands from the chilly March air.

I couldn’t help myself from glancing at the door every time the bell sounded, and when Uta did walk in, he greeted the waitress before spotting me and gave me a little smile. I smiled back and pretended not to see him checking out my thigh high socks and shorts.

Okay, yeah, I decided to dress up a little. Sue me.

“Hey. Hope I didn’t keep you waiting long.” He shrugged off his jacket, putting it over the back of the chair, and sat down.

“Nope. How are you?” I smiled, and he gave a little chuckle.

“I’m alright. Bit better now that I’m not swamped with work. And you?” Uta hummed, tattooed hands folded in front of him on the table. He had his sunglasses on again.

“Eh, you know. I’m existing.” I said, giving a small smile. “Sorry, I know I’m a bit boring.”

“I’d have to disagree.” Uta gave a little smile, then the waitress came up.

“What’s this, Uta? Are you on a date?” She smirked, teasing.

“It just so happens I am. Maybe you should try and go on a few, Touka. You’re cute enough.” He hummed.

“You’re funny.” She scoffed, getting her pad of paper out.

“How about Kaneki? I think the two of you would make a good pair.” He grinned.

“You’re really funny. What can I get you?” She hummed. Uta ordered a cappuccino and she went off to get it, giving me a polite smile, and I gave one back.

“You smile at strangers a lot,” Uta said and I raised my brows as I lifted my coffee to sip.

“I have manners. I don’t want people thinking I’m rude.” I shrugged.

“I think you’re anxious.” He said, drumming his fingers a little before pointing at me. “It’s not that you don’t have confidence or guts, Eri. It’s that you’re anxious. Are you medicated?” He said, and I was a bit surprised. What a topic for a first date.

“I used to be. After four different prescriptions in two years and seeing no change, I don’t know. I gave up, I guess. Learned to live with it.” I shrugged.

“That’s too bad. Quite sad, really.” He hummed. Touka delivered his coffee, and he gave her a smile before looking back at me. “So. Hobbies. What do you do? Are you a student? Do you work? Tell me everything.” He gave a little grin.

“Not a student. I’m a dropout, actually. Don’t work, I freeload off my extended family.” I said and leaned in. “My grandma is super old, super rich. I’m her favorite grandkid, and I plan on keeping it.”

“You’re greedy.” He chuckled.

“Who isn’t?” I smirked, sitting back up. “I suppose I read quite a bit. I write some, too.”

“You suppose?” He hummed.

I rolled my eyes at him. “You know I’m a boring person.”

“I told you I disagreed. I find you plenty interesting. Oh, reminds me, how’s that tattoo of yours doing?” He asked, his brow muscles raising where his eyebrows should be. How does someone look good without eyebrows?

“Oh, it’s fine. I heal pretty fast. Wanna see it?” I asked, shrugging off my jacket and slipping my tank top sleeve over, turning so he could see it.

“Wow. I’m actually surprised. It’s only been what? Five days?” He hummed, smiling a cute little smile. I fixed my clothes and sat back, drinking more coffee.

“But here’s my question. What makes you so sure I’m an interesting person? You hardly know me.” I shook my head.

“I know you like to look different, how you want. I know you like makeup, and clothes. I know you had an asshole for a dad, and you love your mom. I know you like detailed things, not just tattoos. I know you probably don’t like your family.” Uta said, and I blinked at him. “I know enough to call you interesting to me.” He hummed.

“Alright. Guess I won’t judge your taste in people, then.” I joked. “But you. You’re interesting. You’re an artist, and that’s so cool.” I sighed.

“You think so?” He asked, looking a little amused.

“Hell yeah. People have tons of respect for artists, and I’m no different. I tried to do art, but I’m just awful.” I shook my head.

“I doubt that. What did you try?” He hummed, sipping his coffee.

“I tried to sketch and paint. I’m just impatient with everything I tried to make, and it all turned to shit.” I chuckled. “Now I just stick with coloring books.”

“Coloring books? Like those adult ones?” He asked and I hummed, nodding, drinking more coffee.

“Yeah, those. I get the detailed ones with patterns. Jesus, I really do love details, don’t I?” I snickered, tongue between my teeth.

We talked for a bit about Uta’s job and the masks he had to create this week and finished our coffee. Uta paid and we left to go do something, walk around town a bit.

“The twentieth district is so peaceful…” He sighed in the chilling air.

“Is it?” I hummed, our arms looped together.

“Not many violent ghouls in this area, really. Not compared to the first, second, and third districts. The thirteenth is a nightmare.” He shook his head and I stole a peek. Was Uta a ghoul? Did I mind?

Probably not.

“Guess I don’t really pay attention. But yeah, I guess there aren’t many ghoul attacks here. Except for that one like, two months ago. Some binge eater, I think the news called them.” I said and he nodded.

“What’s your stance on ghouls?” Uta looked down at me. I hummed thoughtfully. Was he asking because he wanted to really know, or was he asking because he was a ghoul and needed to be wary?

“Well, I suppose my views aren’t like other humans, for starters.” I bit my lip as I thought. “First of all, I hate the fact that some people go around saying that all ghouls should die or some bullshit like that. Just because there are a few bad apples doesn’t mean the whole bunch is rotten, you know?” I looked over and he nodded, so I continued.

“Ghouls are intelligent, like humans. They have free will just as humans do. I think some choose to be violent, and some are peaceful. Just like humans. We shouldn’t hate them because of what their diet happens to be. I’m sure there are a few who don’t like to eat people, but then again, what other choice is there?” I sighed sadly. “Sure, I guess as a human being myself, I don’t like the idea of being food, but it is the circle of life anyhow. Not my fault I’m not at the top of the food chain. It’s not ghouls’ fault that they are.”

I then looked over at Uta and he just stared at me. “But I’m just a human. I know next to nothing about ghouls, honestly. Maybe they are all hellbent on the destruction of mankind.” I shrugged, and he burst out laughing before putting his fingers over his smile to rein himself back in. That made me smile, that I got a genuine laugh out of him. It looked good on him.

“I like your opinions,” Uta said.

“Thanks.” I blushed a little, smiling at myself.


	4. Barbeque Sauce On My Titties

“How was your date?” Sayori asked me over her tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream. The two of us were over at hers, our own pints of ice cream in our laps, laptops and phones surrounding us on the bed.

“Great,” I nodded, scooping peach ice cream into my mouth. “Yeah, Uta is great. He’s nice, he thinks I’m interesting, and I mean he’s gorgeous. So yeah, it was great.” I smiled a little, nervous about her next possible comments.

“So, you went out with him after he inked you? On your shoulder? Didn’t you have to take your shirt off or something?” Sayori asked, making me blush.

“Well… yeah,” I nodded slowly. “I mean, but you trust tattoo artists with that stuff, though.”

“Okay, but you only met him once before, and you were alone in his shop with him… in your bra. Oh God, were you wearing a bra?” Sayori shot up, staring at me.

“Of course, I was! And it was very plain and unsexy.” I grinned.

“I mean, it could have been like the pilot of Sherlock, though, Eri.” Sayori hummed, toying her ice cream with the tip of her spoon. “Like, you trust this random stranger because it’s just someone you trust with no thought about it, then they get you to open up, and then they kill you. Or make you kill yourself if we’re sticking with this example.” She nodded, then looked at me.

“Jesus, fuck, Sayori. Not everyone is a serial killer psychopath.” I huffed. “Uta is very nice. You’re judgmental.”

“No, I’m not saying he’s not. I’m saying he could’ve been.” She said, and I nodded, understanding what she meant. “So, what did you talk about?” She took a large scoop and started to lick it off her spoon, the chunk being too big to fit in her mouth at once.

“Murder,” I grinned. “We talked about murder and killers,” I said, deciding not to mention the ghoul thing, as not to arouse her suspicion and make her worry.

“Typical,” She gave an amused smile, both of us rolling our eyes.

Hours later, Sayori was asleep, and I was wide awake, earbuds in and listening to poetry. The video automatically paused as I got a phone call, and I smiled and hit the answer button and got up to walk into another room so I wouldn’t wake Sayori.

“Uta?” I hummed.

“Hi, Eri. Is there a reason you’re being quiet?” He whispered, making me smile wider.

“My friend is asleep. I’m just trying not to wake her.” I said, moving to the kitchen and leaning on the stove, far away enough from her bedroom to where I could talk and wouldn’t disturb her. “What’s up?”

“I want to see you again.” He said in that smooth voice of his, and I felt myself blushing, thankful he couldn’t see.

“Okay. When?” I asked. “When are you free?”

“I haven’t got any new orders yet, so I’m free the next few days. Would seeing you tomorrow be too soon as I only saw you yesterday?” Uta wondered, making me chuckle.

“I don’t think so. I mean, I’d like to see you soon, too. God, is that desperate?” I sighed.

“As long as the feeling is mutual, I don’t think so.” Uta hummed. “Anything you’d like to do?” He asked. I could imagine him almost like a teenage girl, lying on his stomach on his bed, feet up in the air, ankles crossed. Or maybe he was leaning against something, looking down at his feet and smiling nervously as he talked, just as I was doing.

“Not sure. I have an idea, but it’ll take a few hours.” I hummed.

“Hit me,” Uta said, and I heard his smile.

“Bookstore.” I grinned.

“Consider it done.” He chuckled.

“Yes!” I hissed and heard his laugh. “I have this one bookstore that I love and have and will spend hours in. The staff is really cool, and they have a café! I know the coffee isn’t as good as Anteiku’s, but they’ll make literally anything you want, and it’s a good price.”

“Sounds perfect,” Uta said, and I smiled as I pictured how his pierced lips would form the words and smile with me.

“Yeah? Not too nerdy or boring for you?” I asked.

“No, never.” He said, creating a warmth in my chest.

“Alright. Tomorrow, meet me at Anteiku, and then, on our next date after that, you’ll have to take me somewhere important to you. Deal?” I said.

“Deal. Goodnight, Eri. See you in a few hours.” Uta murmured, and I said my goodnight, and we hung up. I smiled at my screen again, the phone app disappearing and going back to YouTube where the poetry video started back up, and I walked back into Sayori’s room.

“Who were you talking to?” Sayori asked in a sleepy voice.

“Uta. We’re going out again tomorrow.” I smiled.

“Yeah? Bit soon, don’t you think?” She pushed her head into her pillow.

“Yeah, you’re not judgmental.” I scoffed, smirking.

“At this rate, you two will be married in no time.” Sayori chuckled.

“Shut up.” I smiled, still blushing.


	5. Judas, No

I found Uta leaning against a wall outside of the coffee shop, dressed in black and gray, his sunglasses on his face. He gave a little smile and I licked my lips nervously and smiled as I stood beside him. His head moved as if he was checking me out in my black ripped jeans and strapless top, bomber jacket over me.

“Don’t you look cute.” He hummed, a smile teasing on his lips.

“Why, thank you.” I grinned. “You look great, as always,” I said, and he gave me a grin.

“Shall we get going? I’m a little excited to see this bookstore of yours.” Uta pushed himself off the wall with impossible ease and grace.

“I’m excited to show you.” Literally, I was. I was almost shaking with excitement.

Uta held his hand out to me, and I looked at him in surprise. “Second date. Don’t I get to hold your hand?” He teased, and with a blush, I placed my hand in his, feeling the warm smoothness. There was only a little roughness along the sides of his fingers, probably from his work making masks.

We walked along, me leading us to the store, and all I could think about was how this felt like I was a young teenager again. This was the same exact feeling I got when my teacher in sixth grade sat me next to the cutest boy in class. This was the same feeling I had when I first held my girlfriend’s hand in eighth grade, or when in ninth grade, how I first kissed her. It was a quick kiss, more of a brushing of our lips, but my heart felt like it had exploded in my chest.

That’s what this felt like, and I honestly didn’t know if I was going to vomit or not out of excitement.

After a while of walking, I lead Uta into the shop and spread my free arm out widely. “Behold, the majesty of just over a million books, all under one roof.”

Uta chuckled, his hand swinging mine slightly. “Yes, I do suppose it is quite majestic.” He nodded. “Where should we start?”

“No fucking clue,” I smiled. Uta simply shrugged and lead us into the aisles, the rows and rows of books. We passed by fiction, and I saw a book I loved but had somehow lost my copy of. I suspected Sayori borrowed it and just never gave it back.

So I picked the copy up, and Uta paused when he felt I was no longer walking, as we were still joined at the hand, and looked back at me. “What’s that?”

“The Picture of Dorian Gray,” I answered with a smile. “I lost my copy of it years ago. Guess now is a good time as any to get another.” I smiled up at Uta, “You ever read it?”

“Afraid not. What’s it about?” He asked, pulling me along, deeper into the shelves.

“Hmm,” I looked at the description. “Well, it’s a philosophical novel,” I said and cleared my throat, reading to him.

“’Dorian Gray is the subject of a full-length portrait in oil by Basil Hallward, an artist who is impressed and infatuated by Dorian's beauty; he believes that Dorian's beauty is responsible for the new mode in his art as a painter. Through Basil, Dorian meets Lord Henry Wotton, and he soon is enthralled by the aristocrat's hedonistic worldview: that beauty and sensual fulfillment are the only things worth pursuing in life. Newly understanding that his beauty will fade, Dorian expresses the desire to sell his soul, to ensure that the picture, rather than he, will age and fade. The wish is granted, and Dorian pursues a libertine life of varied and amoral experiences while staying young and beautiful; all the while his portrait ages and records every sin.’”

Uta hummed thoughtfully at the description. “So… it’s about morality?”

“Mm.” I nodded. “Mainly about the differences between good and evil. See, Lord Henry is representing the evil of humanity, all the sin and temptations, while Basil is the goodness. Dorian is humanity, and how humans somehow see the need to choose between good and evil.” I explained and he gave me a questioning looked.

“It’s a good book, and I appreciate philosophy.” I hummed, making Uta chuckle.

“So, if you had to choose, good or evil, which would it be?” Uta asked me, us finding an aisle in the very back and sitting down, our knees touching as we sat cross-legged.

“Uta, the whole point of the book is that there shouldn’t be a choice. Everyone is both good and evil, and it’s ridiculous to think of people as only one or the other.” I explained with a gentle smile as he slipped his sunglasses off.

“You really think that?” His head tilted.

“Of course.” I nodded.

“What about the really bad people? Like Hitler? Or like ghouls?” he asked with his chin in his free palm.

“Controversial topic, but okay.” I sighed. “I believe that everyone has some good in them, and shockingly, that includes Hitler. That’s not to dismiss the terrible things he’s done, though, but to instead consider his reasoning behind his actions.” I sighed again, my lip curling.

“Jesus, it almost sounds like I’m defending him, doesn’t it?” I grimaced.

“Alright, forget Hitler. The ghouls? You think they are good? Can be good?” Uta asked, sounded intrigued. “But they’re killers. They murder and eat humans. And you’re saying they have goodness in them?”

“I refuse to believe every single ghoul in existence is an evil murderer. Even if out of all the ghouls in the world, there is only one who doesn’t like killing humans, that’s something, don’t you think?” I gave a small smile. Was he that curious about my opinions on ghouls? Maybe he just needed a little validation or something. That never hurt anyone.

“Can you forgive murder so easily?” Uta asked in a soft voice.

“’Murder isn’t always a decision. It fears lust for temptation. It’s being too scared and dangerous for your own damn good, or for your own fucking hood.’” I quoted, and Uta stared at me in awe. “Jasmine Mans, one of my favorite poets. Gets the message across quite well, don’t you think?” I gave a smile.

Uta stared at me with a look of pure awe, blinking slowly.

“You’re actually amazing, you know that, right?”


	6. Oh My God, They Were Roommates

It was two days before I went back out with Uta again.

Over a phone call, he told me about a bar his friend owned, a place he frequented a lot. I told him I didn’t drink, and he said that was fine, they would have something alcohol free for me.

So that evening I dressed a little nicer in a black velvet dress that stopped a few inches above my knee so my dragon tattoo was visible. I did my makeup and let my hair do whatever it wanted and remembered to put my earrings in all the piercings in my ears this time.

Uta gave me an address and met me there, taking my hand and spinning me with a smile.

“Did you dress up? All for me?” He grinned at me.

“No. Yes. Maybe. Do I look bad?” My eyebrows furrowed.

“No. You could never look bad, Eri.” Uta said and pulled me along with him, our fingers linking together as if they’d done it a million times previously.

“You just haven’t seen me wake up, then.” I teased.

“Is that implying I will get to see you wake up one day, then?” Uta looked back and gave me a teasing little smirk that made me blush. “I look forward to it.” He hummed lowly. He leads me to a door that I could describe as a hole in the wall establishment, but inside was actually a pretty classy looking bar.

“Is this the girl, then?” A pretty redhead in a black dress came over. “The girl that has our Uta wrapped around her finger?” She smiled at me.

“Eri, Itori. Itori, this is Eri. Be nice.” He shot at her, and she just smiled at me. “That’s Yomo over there. He may look angry, but he’s nice enough.” Uta said, putting his arm lazily around my shoulders.

“I don’t doubt your friends as anything but.” I gave a smile.

“Aw, she’s sweet!” Itori said excitedly. “Come, sit. What can I get you two? Eri, Uta told me you don’t drink, right?” She hummed, going to the bar as we sat at a table with Yomo, and I nodded. “That’s cool and all, more for us, but can I ask why?”

“It’s just a personal choice. Alcoholism runs in my family, really, so it’s just best I stay away.” I explained and she nodded, fixing up a drink.

“Gotcha.” She said, then brought the two glasses over. “Well, here’s to self-control!” She raised her wine glass, a very deep red in it. Yomo raised his beer, Uta raised his whiskey, and I mixed my syrupy drink. A peach Bellini mocktail, as virgin as could be. We all drank a bit, and I noticed the slightly annoyed look on Uta’s face and decided to question it later.

“So, how did you two meet? I want to know everything.” Itori smiled at us.

“We met at Anteiku. She was admiring my tattoos and came up to ask about them.” Uta said, his hand slipping up and to my back, just to hold and touch me. I was totally fine with it, and even found it a little comforting, honestly.

“Yeah? You like tattoos?” Itori nodded at me.

“Yeah, I have a few.” I nodded.

“I saw the dragon on your leg when you came in. You know Uta did some of his own work?” She asked.

“Yeah, isn’t it amazing?” I sighed.

“Incredible.” Itori agreed, nodding, then took a sip of her red wine.

“Eri liked mine so much, she let me do one on her,” Uta smirked.

“Can I see it?” Itori looked at me excitedly.

“It’s sort of in a not visible area at the moment.” Uta hummed and Itori squealed.

“Scandalous!” She settled and grinned. “But that’s our Uta for you. Always digging his nose into things he ought not to.” Itori said with a smirk, and Uta’s dropped for a fraction of a second. I got the feeling they were referencing something I didn’t know about. A private joke, maybe?

“Believe it or not, Eri, Uta was quite the troublemaker when he was a wee teen. Hell, he and Yomo here were like rivals. Always fighting each other. Right, Yomo?” Itori looked at the silent man.

“Good times.” He nodded, speaking in a low voice.

“Yep. Those were the days.” Itori sighed, and I seriously couldn’t help but notice Uta growing more annoyed as Itori kept talking. Should I say something? Do something? I had no clue what to even change the subject to. Of course, I would love to hear stories about young Uta, but if he didn’t want to share for whatever reason, the last thing I wanted was to push him.

“So, Itori, how did you come to own a bar?” I asked, finding a good topic, and she talked about that for a while. Uta rubbed my back appreciatively, and I threw him a smile.

I somehow managed to keep the subject of conversation off of young Uta, and after a little while, it had gotten late and Uta was pulling me out, saying he needed to get me home safe. The walk started quietly until I heard him sigh a block later.

“Eri, I can’t thank you enough for that… back there.” He said, and I gave a smile.

“It’s no problem, Uta.” I shook my head, still leading him towards the direction of my apartment, as he insisted on walking me. Uta kept silent, just holding onto my hand. I assumed he was just thinking, and I let him be.

“This is me.” I stopped outside my complex, and Uta looked up.

“Ah. So this is goodnight, then?” He said and I nodded.

“I had a really good time, though. I’m sorry you didn’t have the best time…” I frowned a little.

“I always have a good time when you’re around, Eri.” Uta smiled a little, then looked at me softly. I watched as he bit his lip, gaze flickering to my lips, and I grew excited. Even more excited than that kiss in ninth grade.

“May I?” He asked, leaning in.

“Please.” I breathed and felt his hand touch my cheek gently, then cup it, tilting my face up oh so lightly.

I closed my eyes and felt his lips fit themselves to mine for a few seconds before he pulled back slightly. My heart was hammering in my chest, and I could feel the thumps in my ears.

“More?” Uta whispered.

“More.” I nodded, and he kissed me again, just with a little more pressure.

Uta kissed me like how he needed to breathe. He made my head spin and my heart race. His lips were smoother than anything I had ever felt before, and his lip ring… that damn lip ring was so cold and so nice against my heated skin. I felt his hands at my waist, gripping hard at the velvet of my dress, pulling me even closer to him. Somehow, I didn’t mind at all.  
Uta began nipping at my lips, almost like he was hungry for more of me, and I honestly wanted to give him all I had to offer right then and there.  
But he pulled back suddenly, making my eyes fly open in shock. He had a stunned look on his face, he almost looked scared, even. Then I watched his tongue poke out to lick his bottom lip, and his top curled in disgust.

“Uta?” I asked, right now feeling very small.

“I’m sorry, Eri. I have to go.” He said, sounding almost as scared as he looked, and turned and walked away.

Realizing I couldn’t go after him, I grit my teeth and went up to my apartment, letting myself in and closing the door a little harder than intended.

Was... was he disgusted with me?


	7. I Am Disgusted, I Am Revolted

Sayori was over at mine this time as we ate our favorite pizza, her comforting me as any good friend would do.

“I don’t understand. We had three dates. Three dates that went amazing! Well, the last one, not so much. His friend kept trying to spill some uncomfortable shit on him. But still! He kisses me, and he seemed like he really wanted me! And I just…” I felt my eyes burn with hot, angry tears.

I huffed and just took a bite of my pizza, Sayori looking at me with eyes full of sympathy. “Well, I can’t imagine you being a bad kisser. Maybe he was just dealing with some things?” She offered.

“Maybe.” I sighed. “But you didn’t see his face. He looked downright disgusted. Like, with a stupid little lip curl and everything.”

“Asshole,” Sayori sighed. “I’m really sorry, dude. What are you going to do?” She asked.

“I’m going to…” I started and paused. My first thought was to ignore him, just pretend Uta didn’t exist at all. Then I realized that was childish and probably get me nowhere. I chewed more alfredo and spinach pizza and thought about going to his shop and giving him a piece of my mind. But that was also childish, and I wasn’t the type of person to show up places uninvited.

“Eri?” Sayori asked.

I closed my eyes and sighed, now seeing my best option. “I will call him, and like a rational adult, I will ask if we can talk this over.”

“Oh, you’re so mature.” She grinned.

I grabbed my phone off the table and hit his contact, then holding the phone to my ear, swallowing and listening to it ring. I narrowed my eyes as it went to voicemail but kept my cool.

“Hey, Uta. Uh, it’s Eri. I’m just calling, wondering if you’re alright. Um, I’d like to talk with you sometime soon, so call me back, or send a text or something. Okay, bye.” I said, smiling to make myself sound nicer, and hung up, staring at Sayori.

“He didn’t even pick up?” Her eyebrows rose up her forehead.

“Maybe he’s busy. He has a job.” I said, remembering to be rational. “I’m sure he’ll call back in a bit.” I shrugged, lifting a new slice of pizza to eat.

But hours later, it was evening, and Uta had not called, not even texted. I didn’t want to think he was ignoring or avoiding me, but it was now a thought I couldn’t get out of my head. Frowning, I grabbed my phone again and sent a text, just asking if he got my voicemail and to please respond, I just wanted to talk.

But a day passed, and there was still no response.

“Still nothing?” Sayori asked when I called her the next day at lunch.

“You know, I keep telling myself he’s busy, he has a job, he’s just working. But you know, I think he may be avoiding me. Ignoring me. Whatever.” I huffed, rolling my eyes.

“One more day. Wait one more day to be sure, Eri. Most people would respond by then.” She hummed. “I’d send another text. You know, just remind him you’re an existing person with feelings and shit.”

So I sent another text, just asking him to respond. And, who would’ve guessed? Still nothing.

I decided I was done with this bullshit, and if he wanted to act that way, fine. I got up and dressed, preparing to go out. No, I was not going to the fourth ward to his shop to yell at him, though I really wanted to.

Instead, I went to a candy shop and stocked up on gourmet chocolate bars of all kinds of flavors. Orange, strawberry champagne, birthday cake, and crème filled.

After paying, I walked down the sidewalk, nestling further into my hoodie. Today was chillier than what we’d been experiencing recently, and I found it ironic, and a little offended. How dare the weather reflect my mood as if it was symbolic?

I spotted Anteiku a little way down the sidewalk and immediately felt that a cup of coffee would warm me right up. I didn’t want to go in, by the chance Uta would be there or show up there, but it looked too warm and inviting to refuse.

So, I ducked in and got a seat. Touka wasn’t working today apparently, and the eyepatch guy, Kaneki, came over to take my order.

“Aren’t you the girl dating Uta?” He asked with a smile, and I shrugged, keeping my temper down. He was just curious and had nothing to do with it.

“I thought I was.” I hummed.

“Did something happen?” He asked, then straightening up. “Not that it’s any of my business or anything. I’m sorry.” He quickly apologized and I shook my head.

“No, it’s fine. I just… he just… he’s ignoring me. Avoiding me. I don’t know what happened.” I shook my head.

“That doesn’t seem like Uta.” He said, sounding a little down. What an empathetic dude.

“Right?!” I looked up at him, nodding. “He… that fucking…” I shook my head, words failing me, and I sighed, putting on a smile. “I’m keeping calm,” I said.

Kaneki just nodded, then tapped his pen against the pad. “What can I get you?”

I ordered a mocha, and he went off to make it. I reached into my bag and started to open the strawberry champagne bar, breaking off a square, and took a bite and sat, letting it melt in my mouth, smoothing out the sharp edges with my tongue.

A few minutes later, Kaneki came back, two cups of coffee in his hand. I looked up as he set mine in front of him and sat in the empty chair, a black coffee for him. 

“I took a break. You seemed like you needed to talk.” He gave me a small smile before sipping his coffee. “Trust me, I’m a good listener.”

I sighed and blew on my mocha before taking a sip, swallowing the melted chocolate in my mouth with it. “Alright, I’ll bite. So Uta and I went on three dates, right? They all went pretty well. Our last date was two days ago, and afterward he kissed me. And it was great, literally perfect.” I said and took another drink, then sighed. “Until the kiss ended, and he looked absolutely disgusted.”

“Oh my God,” Kaneki gasped softly.

“Glad someone else feels the same way.” I hummed, then put my hands on my forehead. “You have no idea how disgusting I feel after seeing that. Like, he looked revolted, like really sick with something. Then he just left. Turned tail and ran. Like, fucking, hightailed it.” I said, my voice softer.

“I can’t even imagine… Uta’s a nice guy, though. I don’t understand…” Kaneki shook his head. “Not that I’m doubting you or anything, uh…”

“Eri,” I said and he nodded.

“Eri. But that just isn’t like Uta, at least the Uta I know.” He said and rubbed the back of his neck. “I mean, I know he looks a bit scary, a little intimidating. I remember when I first met him, I was scared out of my mind. But he was actually really calm, soft-spoken, just overall nice.” He shook his head.

“Wonder what made him act like that.”

“You and me both.” I sighed, drinking more coffee.


	8. Smash Mouth

A week had passed since that date, and I was still angry, but getting over it.

At least until that asshole was standing at my door, looking as gorgeous as ever. How dare he.

“The fuck do you want?” I said with my lip curling as I studied him.

“You’re angry. You have every right to be angry, and I understand. I owe you an explanation.” He said, and I sighed, deciding to be civilized, and let him in. He went to my living room, looking around a bit before turning to me, slipping off his sunglasses and tucking them into his pocket, and I was trapped by those eyes of his again.

“Well?” I crossed my arms, staring. “Better get to explaining,” I said, impatient, and he groaned, his hand coming up to grip his hair.

“I don’t even know where to start, Eri.” He said, making my eyes narrow. How fucking dare he make my name sound like that. That wasn’t allowed, I don’t give him permission.

“How about with what’s up with you?” I said, making him gaze up at me. “I get that that third date didn’t go all as planned, Uta-“

“Kaneki told me what you said.” He cut me off, only making me annoyed. “Sorry.” He said in a small voice, and I just sighed, rolling my eyes.

“He told me you felt disgusted about my reaction after we kissed. And Eri, I promise you, I wasn’t disgusted at you. I swear it on my own grave.” He put his hand over his heart, and something told me he was sincere, and I sat down on my couch, and he took a seat, too.

“Then why did you look so… so sickened?” I asked.

“I was revolted at myself.” He shook his head like he was ashamed of himself. “Usually I can keep myself in check, but that night… It’s like I was over sensitive or something.”

“Yeah, mind dumbing that down for me?” I asked.

“Eri, I’m a ghoul.” He looked at me.

“Yeah, no duh.” I scoffed and he looked surprised.

“You knew?”

“Well, it’s not like you’re subtle.” I chortled. “So, what? What happened when you kissed me that made you act like that?”

“You… you were too appetizing.” Uta shook his head. “Not only did you look great, you tasted… your taste… it was something out of a five-star restaurant.” He looked away from me again. “I thought if I distanced myself I wouldn’t hurt you. You’d be safe.”

“Yeah, well you don’t get to decide that, now do you?” I pressed my lips together tightly, and Uta just looked at me in surprise.

“But, Eri, I could kill you.” He stuttered a little, looking confused.

“Yeah, and? So could another ghoul. So could another human, even. So could a very dedicated duck. You aren’t special in that sense, Uta. Anything could kill me.” I shrugged. “That’s just life.”

I then stood up and went over, taking his cheeks in my hands, and Uta looked a little scared.

“Do you want this to work between us?” I asked.

“Yes.” He nodded, one of his hands coming up over mine.

“Then no more of that angsty supernatural bullshit, okay? Yeah, I get you’re dangerous, you can kill me, blah blah blah. But that’s my choice to make, not yours. Got it?” I said and he nodded, turning his head and kissed my palm.

“Got it. I’m so sorry I’ve caused you this hurt, Eri.” He said, and I smiled a little.

“I’ll forgive you someday. You’ll have to earn it, though.” I said, and he gave a little smile.

“Do you think I won’t hurt you?” He asked softly, and I sat close beside him.

“I know you won’t,” I hummed. 

“How can you be so sure? I am a murderer, after all.” He gave a grin.

“Well, something along the lines of, ‘if you wanted to, you’d have done it by now.’” I hummed, stroking his cheekbone with one hand. “But I think you just might not have it in you to hurt me. You like me too much.” I grinned.

Uta gave a little laugh, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me to his chest. “You’re probably right about that, Eri.” He sighed and kissed the top of my head. I tipped my head back to look at him and tugged lightly on the collar of his shirt. Uta gave me a little grin before he leaned down to kiss me, and I found it just as amazing as the first time.

I let my hand slide up from his shirt to his hair, tangling my fingers in the silky black locks to keep him pressed against me as our lips moved together. I wanted him to know that there was no way he could scare me or hurt me. I could walk in on him eating someone alive, and I’d still kiss him. I’d still smile at him and want to be with him. As I’ve told him earlier, it’s not either of our faults that he happens to be at the top of the food chain, and his species eats my species. We cannot control that even if we tried. There is no use in fighting it or getting angry over it. It’s just how it is.

I let my lips part under Uta’s and gave a small smile as I teased his tongue with my own. Sure, I was probably tempting him, maybe putting a toe over the line, but even I had to admit it wouldn’t be any fun if I didn’t. I wouldn’t push him too far, of course, but just far enough to prove how much I trusted him.

If I was being even more honest, I just then found that the reward far outweighed the risk, as Uta groaned softly in the back of his throat and pulled me even closer, kissing me just a little harder, and it was one of the best things I have ever heard.


	9. Write This Shit Down

Uta wanted to take me out to really apologize, to make at least part of it up to me. I told him he didn’t have to, but then he gave me this pouty look that made it impossible to refuse.

So, since my mood had improved quite a bit, and the weather was changing into the warmer days of spring, I dressed a little lighter, ignoring all nerves that told me I shouldn’t be wearing what I was for whatever dumb bullshit reason.

It wasn’t anything bad, really. Just some very ripped up black jeans and a somewhat form-fitting crop top… that also happened to be backless. My shoulder tattoo had completely healed and was looking really good, the black ink standing out against my pale skin. This is why I always got my tattoos in black and gray. Well, except for the dragon on my leg, but that only had bluish white as highlights on the scales.

Uta wanted to meet at Anteiku again, and since I had a habit of arriving early, I was there before him. I had a cup of coffee and my new copy of The Picture Of Dorian Gray, which he asked me to bring, for whatever reason.

I heard the bell above the door ring, and as every time I had heard it, I turned my head to see who walked in. Uta spotted me and gave me a little smile before coming over. He had on a low-cut tank top, showing off all those gorgeous tattoos of his I so admired.

“Hey,” He hummed and bent down, giving me a soft, quick kiss before he sat down.

“Hey,” I smiled happily, my ankles crossing excitedly under the table.

“You look great. You always look great.” Uta breathed, making my smile grow.

“Thanks. So do you.” I nodded, my eyes flicking to all that skin and tattoos. “Can I know what you’re planning now?”

“Not yet. Be patient, Eri.” Uta said, looking amused.

“That is not one of my best qualities.” I huffed as Kaneki came over to get Uta’s order. Uta gave me a little smirk before he asked for a black coffee, and I then figured that he knew I was impatient, and he was testing me a little. I pressed my lips together, holding back a smile, and kissed my teeth softly. Kaneki went to get Uta his drink, and Uta turned to me with a smile.

“Thought we’d need a drink first.” He hummed. “Yomo told me about this place about an hour away, this lounge café. He’s been a couple times, and he recommends it a lot. It’s really calm, really comfortable. Or so he says.” Uta said with a small smile, and I just chuckled.

“That’s where we’re going?” I asked and he nodded. I tapped the cover of the book sitting on the table in front of me. “Why ask me to bring this, then?”

“When you took me to that bookstore you like, I saw this couple sitting in the café there. They had a book and the girl was just reading it to the guy.” Uta shrugged as a heartfelt smile came to my face. I actually felt that deep down in my chest.

“You’re adorable, Uta,” I said, breathing out a small laugh.

“I am not.” He just protested.

When we were done there, I had the book in one hand and Uta’s hand holding my other as we walked towards the subway. Of course, walking through the city, we got a couple stares, and for once, I found myself not caring. Uta was doing a very good job at distracting me from the looks we received just by smiling at me and swinging our hands gently between us.

I didn’t even notice time passing when we arrived at this lounge, and we stepped in together, reading a sign that said guests could seat themselves, someone would come to the table. So Uta leads me to a white sofa with a glass table in front. He sat next to me, and I set the book on the table and began flipping through the pages, skipping the three introductions.

“What’s that?” He asked, watching me.

“Mostly just stuff on how the author, Oscar Wilde, was jailed after this was published. His editor took out a bunch of stuff deemed inappropriate for the time period, but after a shit load of time, they put the original scenes back in and published it how Wilde intended for it to be published.” I explained.

A waitress came over and handed us a drink list. Uta immediately ordered coffee, and I got berry tea, interested in what mix of berries there would be. I got to where the story began, and looked over at Uta, seeing him giving me his undivided attention. I smiled a little and got to reading.

“The studio was filled with the rich odor of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden there came through the open door the heavy scent of the lilac or the more delicate perfume of the pink-flowering thorn…”

I kept reading softly to him, taking a moment to thank the waitress when she brought the drinks and left the pots. I guessed it was so we wouldn’t be interrupted as often. Uta seemed so invested in the words, the rhythm and poetic feel of them. I knew it wasn’t me he looked so interested in. I had a flat voice when I was reading, much different than my speaking voice. Hence why I always hated reading things aloud in school, or anywhere, really.

I got to the section in the second chapter where Dorian Gray realizes that his beauty, his youth, has an expiration date, and I couldn’t help but smile a little at how Wilde made the revelation so realistic and relatable.

“The sense of his own beauty came on him like a revelation. He had never felt it before. Basil Hallward’s compliments had seemed to him to be merely the charming exaggerations of friendship. He had listened to them, laughed at them, forgotten them. They had not influenced his nature. Then had come Lord Henry, with his strange panegyric on youth, his terrible warning of its brevity. That had stirred him at the time, and now, as he stood gazing at the shadow of his own loveliness, the full reality of the description flashed across him. Yes; there would be a day when his face would be wrinkled and wizen, his eyes dim and colorless, the grace of his figure broken and deformed. The scarlet would pass away from his lips, and the gold steal from his hair. The life that was to make his soul would mar his body. He would become ignoble, hideous, and uncouth…”

Just then, as I finished the paragraph, Uta dipped his head down and pressed a whisper of a kiss to the corner of my mouth, and I stopped reading, marking my place with my finger and looked up at him with a little smile.

“Yes?” I asked, trying not to look too amused.

“Nothing,” Uta shrugged. “I just had to. The words… they suit you.”

“Suit me?” I asked with furrowed brows, having no idea what he meant.

“That proper way of speaking it… I don’t know, just seems to suit you. Like you were made to live back in that time period.” Uta then grinned, his teeth shining, and his lip ring reflected the light. “I can just picture you in some Victorian England gown, looking like a proper English lady.”

I chuckled a little and shook my head. “No way in hell would I ever. Sure, I like the tea, and maybe even the corsets, but I think I’d kill myself if I had to be that polite and refined all the fucking time.”

“Ah, you’ve got a point. Carry on.” Uta said, taking a sip of coffee. I smiled a little wider and kissed his cheek, then took a sip of tea before continuing from where I left off.


	10. Being Selfish ft. My Embarrassment

Sayori immediately wanted to know what the fuck was going on with Uta and me, and she sent me a bunch of back to back texts as I was walking to his studio. I texted back, quickly telling her we made up, everything was going well, and I actually had a date right now.

After I had finished The Picture Of Dorian Gray with Uta, he understood all previous comments and everything I explained to him about it. I then may have let slip that I sort of wanted a tattoo of the movie adaptation’s cover somewhere on me. The actor who plays Dorian Gray, just looking stony and serious, maybe even a little coy, and one half of his face was gnarled, mangled, rotting away to show the effect of all his sins.

Needless to say, Uta immediately volunteered to be the one to ink it onto me. I had to laugh a little at his enthusiasm, and then I told him I was thinking about it going on my left thigh. Uta just smirked, asked me if that was supposed to phase him, then pointed out that the second time we met, I was already shirtless in front of him. If anything, he was eager to have me undress for him so he could ink me.

The blush didn’t come off my face for hours after he made that clear.

So now here I was, some days later, in a pair of sweat shorts and a tank top, walking through the door, calling for Uta to announce that I was here. He popped out, in his usual tank and harem pants, and he gave me a wide smile.

“Hey, I’m just finishing up a sketch. You mind locking the door for me?” He called in that calm voice of his, but I could tell he was excited. I turned and locked the door, flipping the sign to CLOSED.

I wandered to the back of the shop where he was at his desk, an intricate drawing of an incredibly realistic Dorian Gray before him. Damn, and I thought his work was detailed before…

“That is amazing, Uta. Holy shit.” I breathed, my eyes wide in awe. I saw him smile a little and lick his lips before he glanced at me.

“It’s going to look ten times better on you.” Uta just replied, then nodded to a table that would be in a tattoo shop, and I blushed and bit my lip to hold back my smile, and sat on it. Uta finished up the sketch soon, then put on a pair of black latex gloves, and grabbed the shaving cream and a razor, then the antiseptic.

“It still stuns me that you’re not licensed. You could easily get a license, Uta.” I shook my head softly, and he gave me a little smile before pressing a kiss to my lips before he began rubbing the shaving cream on my thigh.

“I like making masks. There’s no point if I don’t plan on changing jobs.” He hummed, then readied the razor before he met my eyes. “Trust me?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions.” I rolled my eyes and saw him smile before he cleaned up my leg. I normally didn’t shave my thighs, one, because the hair was light enough to be invisible up there, and two, I didn’t care anyway. But when Uta finished and wiped the remaining streaks of shaving cream away, and I could feel how soft I was, I began considering it.

Once my leg was all sanitized, I tugged my shorts up on my legs slightly to give him more space, and he gently transferred the ink to me and seeing it in blue ink on my leg already looked good. I couldn’t wait to see it in black and grays.

Uta already had the ink, a lot of ink, ready, and he sat at my knees and pressed a soft kiss to my other thigh. “Ready?”

“Ready.” I nodded and sat leaning back, looking away. I found that looking away for the first half or so made it easier. But once a good portion was done, then I would start watching.

I heard the buzz of the gun, and Uta held my leg in his free hand and began outlining the entire thing. I had no sense of time, so I had no idea how long that took, but I did end up growing curious and looked down to watch him as he began filling in areas and shading.

Uta asked often if I was okay, or if I needed a break, and every time I told him I was fine. He’d then follow it up with a kiss on my other leg, and sometimes his eyes would flash up to mine, making me think things. I would then blush and tell myself mentally that I did not need to be getting aroused while getting a tattoo. Not that I would mind at any other time…

That was how I spent a good couple of hours, just watching him focus on the needles and ink and my skin, while my mind wandered off to far dirtier places.

Uta has never really been shy about voicing his attraction to me. Shit, on our second meeting, when he was inking me for the first time, he said he liked the sight of me shirtless, and the picture I painted of idealistic me was hot to him. But for me? I was an anxious mess. I couldn’t voice half the things I thought without blushing, avoiding eye contact, stuttering, and just giving up completely.

So, here I was, sitting on a table, thinking very deeply about Uta kissing a little higher up my thigh, and putting his head between my legs. The mental image put butterflies in my stomach and tingles across my skin, and a certain heat break out across my cheeks. I couldn’t even feel the soft sting of the tattoo gun, as I was so distracted.

“Eri,” I heard Uta say, and I blinked and met his eyes, and found myself praying that he couldn’t read thoughts. “You’re not gonna pass out on me, are you?” His voice sounded teasing, but his eyes looked a little worried.

I smiled down at him. “Nope. I’m good.” I assured him.

“You’re sure?” He asked, continuing to work on me. “You’re pretty quiet, looking a little dazed.”

“I’m just thinking about things.” I hummed, smiling down as I watched him work on me. It looked nearly done, but I wasn’t totally sure.

“Can I know?” He asked.

“Nope.” I shook my head. “Not yet, at least.”

“You planning something?”

“Maybe. When did you get so nosy?” I grinned, amused by him.

“I’ve always been nosy.” Uta smiled a little. “It’s how I got into trouble when I was younger.”

I blinked in surprise. Was he trying to open up to me? If so, alright. “I can’t really imagine what trouble you’d get into. Can’t have been anything too bad.” I hummed.

“No, nothing too bad. I just never minded my own business and I did whatever I wanted because I felt like I could.” He chuckled, then glanced up at me. “I was a bit of a chaotic mess.”

“You? No fucking way.” I gasped teasingly, making him laugh.

“But seriously, can I know what you were thinking about? You looked pretty deep in thought.”

“Maybe later.” I hummed. A new thought came to my mind. What if I voiced how I felt, but he wasn’t ready yet? I’ve dated a guy before where he talked constantly about all the amazing sex we would have, and how often we would fuck if we lived together. But whenever I was over at his and we were alone, he chickened out. Now, I know everyone goes at their own pace, and that’s fine, but what if Uta isn’t ready yet, and I just make him uncomfortable?

Uta finished up only minutes later and cleaned my leg of blood and excess ink, then helped me stand and took my hand as he walked me over to a full-size mirror. I was already smiling at how it looked upside down from my point of view, but then I saw it right side up in the reflection, and I grinned.

“It’s perfect,” I said, and looked at Uta, and I stretched up on my toes and kissed him. “Now, what about payment?”

“I’m not letting you pay me, Eri.” Uta shook his head, our faces still close. I pouted slightly. Over four hours of work, I couldn’t just accept that for free. Uta then gave me a small smile and pecked my lips. “Tell you what, something you can do that I’ll accept as payment.”

“Yeah?” I smiled, eager to hear. Silently hoping it was something romantic, or hot.

“Stay with me tonight.” He murmured, eyes meeting mine, probably looking to see if that was okay.

“Yes.” I agreed, not even needing to think about it.


	11. Don't Look At The Dildos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowza, I wasn't even planning on writing smut, but you know, sometimes things just happen.

I was slightly nervous about staying the night at Uta’s, of course, I was. But I wasn’t nervous about whatever would go down. I was more worried about how I would look going home tomorrow morning.

“You know, I don’t like you walking alone in this district.” Uta shook his head slowly, and I gave him an amused look. “What?”

“Let’s just say the fourth ward is nothing compared to my hometown.” I chuckled, and his brows furrowed a little. “I’m not from Tokyo. I moved up here maybe a year ago after my friend did. Our town… fucking hectic.”

“Do you miss it?” Uta asked, tilting his head.

“A little.” I shrugged. “I just find it weird to not hear gunshots early in the morning anymore. It sort of grows on you.”

Uta gave a small laugh and shook his head. Once he was done cleaning up in his back room, he held his hand out to me, and I took it and let him lead me up some stairs. Turns out he lived in an apartment right above his shop. I smiled at the thought of how convenient that must be.

He kept his shop very clean, not too decorated aside from the masks, and his apartment wasn’t too different. Very plain, and very clean. I kicked my shoes off at the door, and continued in behind him, following him to his kitchen.

“We can order some food for you if you’re hungry.” He offered, and I nodded.

“Alright.” I pulled my phone out and looked for a restaurant that was close by and that delivered. I chose a relatively cheap place and placed an order. I didn’t even notice Uta take a jar of eyes out of his fridge and start snacking. When I was done, I looked up and saw him, then tilted my head in curiosity.

“What do eyes taste like?” I asked, and he looked half surprised at me.

“Sweet, and juicy. The outside is hard, but the inside is the good part.” He nodded, and I hummed. “You don’t mind?” Uta looked at me, looking a bit cautious.

I let a smile come to my face at him, and I walked over to his side. “No, I don’t mind.” I sighed and kissed his cheek. “What did I say about stupid questions?”

“I know,” Uta hummed. “I know. I guess I just can’t help but be careful.”

I looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” I shook my head, and he just gave me a grin.

After my food came, we sat on his couch, me with a takeout bowl of gyudon, Uta with his jar of eyeballs. I got a peek in his fridge, and there were numerous jars of eyeballs and some Tupperware containers of other various meats. I think I might’ve recognized a heart as I glanced.

I worked on settling my nerves, and once I was done eating, I slid across the couch and leaned heavily on Uta, making him chuckle. “What are you doing?”

“Getting comfy.” I hummed, and let my eyes flicker to his. “Like you didn’t have a plan when you asked me to stay over,” I smirked, and Uta grinned.

“Like you didn’t immediately start thinking thoughts when I offered.” He retorted.

“See? Neither of us is innocent here.” I smiled as I had gotten my point across.

“Nope.” Uta agreed and set the jar aside before he dipped his head down and his lips met my neck. I sat up straighter for him, and Uta surprised me a little by pulling me onto his lap. His hands met my back, curving me into him, and I let my hands slip into his hair as he kissed, bit, licked, and sucked around my neck and upper chest. I just let my head fall back to give him more work, and I even surprised myself by starting to roll my hips against his, grinding down to feel him hardening up.

I suddenly had guts.

Uta’s hands then met the backs of my thighs, where he got a good grip and lifted me. I let my legs come around his waist he carried me to his bedroom, and I could already feel my heartbeat in my ears and neck.

I told myself to chill the fuck out when he set me down onto his mattress and crawled over me, his lips meeting mine urgently once again. I chuckled a little at Uta’s obvious enthusiasm, but he cut me off by making me moan as he ground his hips, his hardness, down into me. He gave me a small smirk in victory before he pulled back to sit up and begin to undress the both of us.

And I thought Uta had a beautiful physique already. As his shirt and pants came off, leaving him in his boxers, I couldn’t think of a time I’ve ever wanted to kiss and lick something more than I did right now. So, when Uta came back up to meet my lips, that’s just what I did. Uta let me flip us, and he had a pleased little smile on his lips as I placed slow, hot, open-mouthed kisses down his chest, not stopping until I reached his boxers. I began to peel them down, but Uta caught my wrists.

“We’re saving that for the really fun bit. Come here,” He said and brought me back up to him, turning us back over, and he slipped his hand into my panties as he kissed me, slowly peeling the fabric off of me. I gasped into his mouth, rolling my hips up into his hand to indicate I wanted more. Uta obliged, simultaneously pumping a finger into me as his thumb worked on my clit, and the moans and whimpers never ceased. 

“Ah, fuck…” Uta groaned a minute or two later. “Do I even have condoms?”

“It’s fine. I’m on the pill.” I shook my head, not minding in the slightest.

“You sure?” He looked back at me, biting the side of his lip, and I nodded. Mother nature made my cramps a bitch, so I needed all the help I could get. And painkillers don’t prevent me from getting pregnant at the same time, so.

Uta pulled his hand from me, and I watched as he licked his finger clean, and he gave me a small smile. “Not bad, Eri. I might have to make a meal out of you next time.” He said breathily as he pulled his boxers off.

“Feel free,” I chuckled, parting my legs so there was enough space for him to fit between them. Uta positioned my hips, glancing up at me, and I smiled and gave him a nod, so he pushed into me.

I bit my bottom lip at the stretch, but once he was all the way in, I let out a sigh, feeling all that building up pressure, and I gave him the green light to move. Uta went slowly at first, for my sake, and I was honestly really touched. I then thought, “Why wouldn’t he? He cares about you, idiot. He doesn’t want to hurt you.” I still found it sweet, though.

My whimpers and moans got a little louder, a little faster as he increased his pace after a little while. And can I just take a moment to appreciate how devastatingly heavenly Uta looked above me? I mean, not only were his muscles under that inked skin just… superb, but I was also falling deeply in love on watching his chest rise and fall with each breath, the roll of his hips when he thrust into me, shit, even how his collarbones looked moving under his skin. And that wasn’t even counting his face. His eyes were closed in bliss, and it looked so goddamn good on him. Uta also had his mouth open slightly, soft pants and groans falling from his lips. His hair had fallen into his face in some places, but he apparently couldn’t care less.

As I gazed, Uta’s eyes opened, and he grinned down at me, then lifted me up and into his lap, arms wrapping around my back to hold me up against him, and he never once stopped thrusting into me.

“You’re staring,” He said in a slightly breathy voice.

“You’re beautiful,” I smiled, lifting my hand to push his hair back from his face, and just decided to let my hands come to his shoulders, clawing his skin a little when he gave a particularly hard thrust every once in a while.

“Not nearly as beautiful as you.” Uta grinned and kissed my lips before letting his lips fall to my neck once again.

“Bullshit,” I hummed, and only got a nip in response, making me grin. My grin, though, was soon wiped away as Uta went harder, and I cried out in pleasure, letting my head fall back as my back arched and I neared my end.

All I could think to say was his name and the random swear here and there. Uta helped me out a bit with his fingers meeting my clit, and I helped him a bit by rocking my hips down to meet his. I tensed as I got closer, and I knew he felt me tighten around him when I started to come.

Uta followed me, thankfully, filling me an odd warm feeling, and we remained there against each other, just breathing and trying to hold onto the last few sparks of pleasure traveling under our skin and in our veins.


End file.
